Day 4 of being job free. I am coming to find joy in the fact that I was fired. The frustration that I felt over the fact that I was fired, and the manner in which it occurred has begun to pass. I am now grateful to be free of that situation. I have been praying for 3 months to be set free from it, but I had thought that I'd have another job and be quitting, not getting fired. I don't like having that on my record, it's just like getting an "F" in school, the implication is the same, you just didn't make the cut, you didn't do the work, you lacked effort. That's not the case though. It's like I was doing the work for a class I never signed up for or was duped into taking believing that it was something that it wasn't. Can you really fail if you were deceived to begin with? The job turned out to be something completely different than what I had signed up for, with rules that constantly changed as soon as I began to succeed. Frustrating to the extreme. Did I fail or was it sabotage? Either way I learned a lot of what not to do's, and developed a strong aversion to dirty dishes, rotting food, messy houses, and strong ideas on potty training and child care. That's something to take away.
Now I am just glad to be free. Reveling in it actually. The burden is gone, the stress has vanished, I'm remembering how to truly laugh, relax and have fun again. I didn't realize just how much this terrible job was leaching from me, mentally, physically, spiritually. It's good now to be free. To escape. Praise God for setting me free. It truly is an answered prayer, maybe not answered the way I thought it would be, but God never seems to work the way we expect. He has His own way of doing things, while they don't make sense at first, or sometimes ever, in the end the results are perfect.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
God is great, Beer is good and people are crazy...
I just realized that it's been a very long time since I've written anything. I miss writing. So much has been going on, it's hard to keep it all straight.
The biggest and possible the best change has to be losing my job last night. While it was infuriating and stupid the way it happened it is good to be free. So many horror stories to tell. This has to possibly be one of the worst jobs I have ever worked. After working a year for this woman, each day progressively worst than the last, culminating in getting in trouble for not allowing a 4 year old to play with cleaning products, being belittled and treated like crap, she fired me via text message last night.
I'd like to say I'm upset about this but really I'm just relieved. I am so glad to finally be free from the toxicity. It is hard letting go of the tension that has built up and releasing the emotional burden that I have been carrying for a year now. It's weird to finally be stepping out of that draining and toxic routine, and to finally be able to look forward instead of just getting by one day at a time.
I can't say that it wasn't tempting to vent to a more public audience, given who she is, but I know that that isn't right, and isn't the answer. Sure she treated me horribly, but it's not going to get me anywhere in the end to do that. I just pray that the child will some how, some way, grow up to be a normal human being with ethics, morals, respect for others, and values. Without God's divine intervention I can't see this happening. Given the way he has been raised so far, his behavior, and the influences in his life I can not see a good future for this poor child.
I also pity the poor soul who is duped into being the next nanny. No matter what the job pays it isn't worth it, not for the hours, pyhsical abuse from the child, mental abuse from the mother, belittling, toxic messes, cleaning, diaper changing, rudeness, etc, etc, etc. Looking back I am not sure how I lasted as long as I did, I should have gotten out long ago.
Sigh. Breath in. Breath out. Let it go. Move forward. Trust in God.
Now it's time to look for a new job. A new start. A new chapter. Finally.
Time to do what is healthy for me.
The biggest and possible the best change has to be losing my job last night. While it was infuriating and stupid the way it happened it is good to be free. So many horror stories to tell. This has to possibly be one of the worst jobs I have ever worked. After working a year for this woman, each day progressively worst than the last, culminating in getting in trouble for not allowing a 4 year old to play with cleaning products, being belittled and treated like crap, she fired me via text message last night.
I'd like to say I'm upset about this but really I'm just relieved. I am so glad to finally be free from the toxicity. It is hard letting go of the tension that has built up and releasing the emotional burden that I have been carrying for a year now. It's weird to finally be stepping out of that draining and toxic routine, and to finally be able to look forward instead of just getting by one day at a time.
I can't say that it wasn't tempting to vent to a more public audience, given who she is, but I know that that isn't right, and isn't the answer. Sure she treated me horribly, but it's not going to get me anywhere in the end to do that. I just pray that the child will some how, some way, grow up to be a normal human being with ethics, morals, respect for others, and values. Without God's divine intervention I can't see this happening. Given the way he has been raised so far, his behavior, and the influences in his life I can not see a good future for this poor child.
I also pity the poor soul who is duped into being the next nanny. No matter what the job pays it isn't worth it, not for the hours, pyhsical abuse from the child, mental abuse from the mother, belittling, toxic messes, cleaning, diaper changing, rudeness, etc, etc, etc. Looking back I am not sure how I lasted as long as I did, I should have gotten out long ago.
Sigh. Breath in. Breath out. Let it go. Move forward. Trust in God.
Now it's time to look for a new job. A new start. A new chapter. Finally.
Time to do what is healthy for me.
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