I'm getting old.

I feel like I've been trying to cram several lives into the span of a single lifetime. It's very strange. I've been so many things, tried so many things, and done so many different jobs that it's all becoming a bit of a blur. I have to stop and think now when I tell a story from my past and then it's like "wow, that was 3, 4, 5... years ago" it doesn't seem like that much. Time is beginning to blur. Some of that is a good thing though, the bad memories are starting to get blurry. But it makes me feel old. The large amounts of free time at work have given me a lot of time to think and reflect, maybe that's good and maybe that's bad. All I know is that I'm starting to dread my birthday. Not long ago it seemed far off and now it feels like the days are flying towards me and I have literally nothing to show for myself.
They say that life isn't about the number of breaths you take but about the number of moments that take your breath away. I wish I could know that was true. Right now I feel like I'm just floating along waiting for life to hand me the next pile of poo for me to sludge through. Most of my time seems to be spent shifting from one problem to the next, working my way through each obstacle, but never actually going anywhere. Where is the point when you stop going from problem to problem and start making a life? I'm going to be another year older soon and honestly, I can't say that I've accomplished much other than just getting by.

My car hates me.

For anyone who hadn't guessed, I love my car. I may not be the best at taking care of it, and sometimes, well most of the time, that shows. But honestly I do love my car. I know that that may be a weird thing for a girl to say, but hey, I guess I've never been overly normal. That being said, I am becoming convinced that my car doesn't hold the same feeling towards me.

I try to do my best by it, but some how it still ends up lacking in some way. I've never run out of gas or gotten a flat tire, but some how that doesn't cause my car to love me. I try to get regular tune ups, and oil changes, but let's face it, I'm not the best at this. I admit it. As much as I love my car, it does get neglected.

Still, I was surprised when the "Check Engine" light came on. At first I thought that it must be a joke. My cars way of trying to get even for all the neglect and lack of regular car washes. So, I got an oil change. I made a deal with my car, I'd get the oil change, and it would make that stupid light go away. No dice. I begged, I pleaded. It still wouldn't go away. Every time I got into my car it was a glaring reminder of the loathing that my car has for me. An angry light beaming up from the dash. Just screaming at me over and over. Lecturing me on my lack of proper maintenance and up keep. I kept wishing every time I got in the car that it would go away. I'd close my eyes and plead with the car to forgive me and just make it go away. Still no dice. Every time I turned on the car, there it was, like a beacon there for all to see.

I finally broke down, stopped pleading and took it into the shop to get looked at. Now the glaring beacon of loathing is gone, for now at least. It's only a matter of time before my car finds another way to show it's true feelings for me.